Comprehensive Counseling Services

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505 New Rd., Northfield, NJ

3804 Church Rd., Mt. Laurel, NJ

By associatesforl1144, Apr 8 2016 01:27PM

When you look through old pictures, library cards, sports uniforms, instruments and other items that a loved one owned, it can be therapeutic to happily reminisce. This is because you think of the good times you had and feel gratitude for the memories.

Get together with other family members or friends of your loved one because it will feel good for everyone to remember the good times that were had. When a memory of the person is triggered, you can allow yourself to be grateful for the experience. There are many ways that a memory can be triggered. It can happen when you go to a place you used to go with the person, such as a restaurant or a vacation destination. Let yourself feel happiness for the times you had with your loved one instead of thinking how bad it is that they are no longer with you.

When you do feel mournful, accept the feeling. Even if you apply the first three techniques, there are probably going to be times when you feel sad, angry, or think about what might have saved the person. Don't fight these feelings or judge yourself as selfish. Ironically, accepting how you feel often makes the sad feelings less intense.

People who have experienced loss sometimes often believe that they have to stay sad all of the time. It is ok to give yourself permission to be happy when you feel happy without feeling guilty because you are having fun after you recently lost someone.

Many people stay sad over a loss for years for basically two reasons. One is that they feel they need to stay sad to prove that they cared about the person who died. You can mourn for a short period of time and still care about your loved one who is no longer with you. A second reason people stay sad is because they think it is the only way to still feel connected to their deceased loved one. However, you can still feel connected by remembering the good times you had with them. Your memories will always stay with you.

It is not necessary to judge anyone who does not act mournful at the funeral. People mourn and say goodbye to others in different ways. In India's culture they mourn by lighting a candle and peacefully reflect on the life. It's great that many funerals today display pictures of the person's life. Consequentially, they make the funeral a celebration of life instead of a sad time.

If you had a strained relationship with the person, don't judge yourself for not feeling sad when they pass. Your feelings are not good or bad, they are just feelings. When most of your memories with the person are not pleasant ones, it is not necessary to feel sad or mourn.

Many people say that when they lost a loved one there were things they left unsaid, such as they never told their parent they loved them. Many of the things people wish they had said were understood, particularly in close family relationships. If you took care of a sick parent or grandparent and they died they understand that you loved them. Sometimes young adults get impatient with a non ambulatory person they are taking care of. The person will understand if most of your interactions were positive.

There are many ways to use your memories to help yourself through the loss of a loved one. You can enjoy thinking about the happy memories, and you do not have to stay angry, sad, or have regrets. Going through memorabilia is healthy and a great activity for the whole family to do.

By associatesforl1144, Jan 25 2016 05:12PM

Employee Assistance Programs, otherwise known as EAP’s, are an added benefit many employers offer. EAP’s provide referrals for a limited number of 100% covered confidential mental health counseling sessions. Counseling sessions focus on identifying and healing presented issues. An individual, couple or a family can use the EAP sessions.

In the first session, the EAP counselor will work to create a warm relationship with you, assess your counseling issues, and outline a brief solution-focused plan of treatment to work within the allotted EAP sessions and/or refer you for other appropriate counseling services. In the subsequent sessions, the EAP counselor will continue address and offer solutions to heal your issues and may provide community resources for ongoing care. After the allotted EAP sessions are completed, you may continue with treatment often by accessing your health insurance benefits.

Asking for help through an Employee Assistance Program is easy. The hardest part of the process for many is admitting they have a problem and asking for help. Luckily, many companies have EAP programs that are easy to access and are strictly CONFIDENTIAL.

To find out if your employer offers this benefit you may contact your employer EAP hotline that can often be found in your employee handbook or contact your Human Resources department to request information.

Employee Assistance counseling can help with the following:

• Anger

• Co-worker Conflicts

• Custody issues

• Divorce

• Grief

• Job Concerns

• Relationship issues

• Substance Abuse

• Crisis situations

• Depression

• Anxiety

• Parenting

• Stress

• Weight Loss

• Addiction

• Social issues


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Associates for Life Enhancement, Inc. is a group of professionals in private practice who provide counseling services with offices located in Atlantic and Burlington Counties. We hope to use this blog as a way to provide you with information on different topics that may be of interest. Please feel free to subscribe to our webfeed that will update you when new articles have been posted!